Dogs, dogs, dogs, dogs Dogs, dogs, dogs, dogs, Dooooggggs . . . Wonderful Dooooggggs

Since the ever lovely and semi-manic Cheyenne came into our lives (say Hi to Cheyenne)

Jimmy and I (say Hi to Jimmy)

have been introduced to a subculture we knew very little about . . . Dog Owners.  While, this is Jimmy’s first dog owning experience, I have had dogs on and off much of my life.  However, I don’t remember the dog ownership culture being as intense in those days as it is today.

So, here are a couple of things of we have learned in our first 2 years of ownership.  As a dog owner, you:

• Spend large amounts of money on your dog – anything from organic pet food, to cute outfits, toys (of which they will most likely eat, chew or watch float down the river), healthcare, replacement household items they have trashed, and beach houses.  My one dog park friend swears they bought their beach house for their dogs and now the dogs don’t even like it (it’s apparently too hot at the beach).
• Call yourself mom and/or dad to the dog – (Guilty!)  While this is most likely annoying to the general non-dog owning population, it is nonetheless inevitable.  You may even develop a voice for your dog and start having long, two-sided conversations with yourself via you and the dog voice.  It also works as a way to share things with your other half that may otherwise sound like nagging (Cheyenne has occasionally been overheard saying “Dad, don’t you think you should help mom out and unload the dishwasher?”)
• Look and sound crazy while trying to train your dog to do tricks or behave properly – I heard of one trainer who said that all new dog owners will at one point look “bipolar” as they simultaneously yell “No” and “Good Dog” during the training process.  It just can’t be helped.
• Worry that you are the one making your dog neurotic (BTW you most likely are) – I spent the first week of ownership sitting in the middle of our backyard, on a camping chair, crying while Cheyenne pranced around on her dog run getting tangled up every other minute and looking at me with a crazy look in her eye.  My mind was overwhelmed with thoughts of how my neuroses were going to turn this dog into a hot mess.  I even had to stop watching the Dog Whisperer because I began to obsess that she would have every problem ever mentioned on the show.  I eventually switched over to “My Cat from Hell” (Great Show).  I already know my cats aren’t that bad, they are too lazy to go to all that trouble. (say Hi to Jenkins)

• Brave all sort of elements (just like a full-fledged postal employee) – This so your dog doesn’t began a systematic and total destruction of your house and all your belongings.  I’ve said good-by to many a Costco circular and flip flop because of waiting too long to do our exercise.
• Think your dog is the smartest, cutest, funniest, fastest, best behaved (pick one or all) dog EVER and proceed to tell anyone who asks (even if they don’t ask) – You will also be boring your friends with all kinds of doggie minutiae – what’s the latest nast they ate (and then threw up), how they are feeling, how well they have been pooping, etc.  All of which your friends politely listen while doing a mental eye roll.
• Develop friendships with people you would never have known had you not bonded over doggies – This is one of the best things.  And believe me, these are a vital group to incorporate in your dog ownership life. They will sincerely listen to you and be the ones with whom you can commiserate about all the above-mentioned things your friends wish you would stop telling them. Meet one of our early morning dog walking buddies . . .

It has been a long road of ups and downs.  But we have gotten a lot out of owning a dog and we continue to learn more about ourselves through this journey.  Dogs are a lot of work, but lots of fun and love and we wouldn’t trade our Cheyenne for anything.